My So Called Life
by sonya13
Summary: What would have happened if Logan decided to take the reigns of his life after his suicide attempt? What would have happened with Veronica?


Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Thank God for Dick**

Life in Neptune is difficult to explain. Let's just say that it is not the place that I would choose for my kids to grow up in but it's the place that my parents choose for me and well look how it ended. But let's start by the beginning.

My name is Logan Echolls, son of the actors Aaron and Lyanne Echolls. But you already know that, don't you? So if you know my story, you will know that my life has not been easy and you that sometimes I'm a jackass, well, the majority of the time but it is my way of protecting myself from people and prevent them to discover how screw up my life is. But I guess, that now that everything is the open, the best thing to do is to drop the act and get myself together but first things first.

Just a few weeks ago my girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend, Veronica Mars accused me of killing Lily Kane to later on discover it was my fathers doing, but the damage was done. I realized that she didn't trust me, well I guess that with my character I'm not the most trustworthy person but I didn't expect her to accuse me of murder, neither of rape…but anyways, we broke it of that night and I realized that my life wasn't worth living. Little after that I was at the bridge where my mother ended her life, how ironic don't you think?, and I was ready to jump when I realized that with killing myself the only thing that I would accomplish was to prove my father right when he said that I was weak, I would make Veronica know how much power she had over me and how much her mistrust hurt me and it would make my mother sad to know who her son had end up. It was then when I bowed to myself to fight for a good life. My life had enough drama the first 17 years, it was time to stop it, get up on my own feet and fight my battles not drown the on alcohol or try to forget about them with meaning less sex. It was time to become a man and stop with being a spoiled boy, I wasn't the son of two actors or the king of Neptune High, not anymore, that boy died in the bridge that night and in his place left a man who was going to fight tooth and nail for the happiness he deserved.

That night was two months ago and my life has changed a lot since then. First of all, I sold the Echoll's mansion and bought myself a two floors house in a quite part of Neptune and I used the money of the mansion to create a society for women and their children who suffer at the hands of their husband or boyfriend. This society is called after my mother, L.E.S.M (Lyanne Echolls Society for Mistreatment). I quit drinking and partying, and I settled for a more relaxed life, I won't lie, I'm still sarcastic and with a fast wit but I stopped being a jackass with people, let's just say that nobody's perfect and I'm not the best to judge the others. My group of friends has changed too, like I said I'm not the king of Neptune High anymore, I don't want to and that's why I decided to stop the act and settle with only my real friends, well my only real friend, Dick. Yeah I know, he's a jackass and everything that goes with it but he has changed too. The night at the bridge we had a conversation that helped change some things. That's how it went…

_Flashback_

"_Logan! Stop don't jum!p" – Says a frantic Dick Casablancas._

"_Dick?" – I ask confused – "What are you doing here? How did you find me?"_

"_I noticed that something was off with you for a few days and you had me worried. I went to your house and you weren't there and I heard about your father and I new I had to find you. I've been looking for you for like 5 hours or so" – He says all in one breath surprising me – "You are not going to jump, are you? – He asks making me realize that maybe I'm not as alone as I think I was._

"_I was going to but I realized that it would only make my father happy and it's me who should be happy" – I say not really surprised but the bitterness in my words._

"_That's right" – He says._

"_You know Dick, I have to change, I don't like who I become I want to be me not someone who I pretend to be to prevent things for hurting me" – I say sincerely hoping for his approval._

"_I know and I'm going to help you" – Declares Dick – "Even best, I'm going to change with you, well… as much as I can of course" – He says seriously but with a hint of humor in the end._

"_Of course" – I say smiling a bit at his declaration but I have to say that I'm surprised but I expect nothing less of him because deep inside Dick Casablancas is one true friend._

_End Flashback_

He has helped me a lot since then. He was there to help me sell the mansion and decide which house to buy. He helped me move in and was there when I tried to learn how to cook and clean, and lets says that was the funniest moments of my life, but in the end and thanks to God, I learned to do it. And you probably are wondering why did I sell the house and start doing thinks for myself when I could hire someone to do it. Well, the answer it's simple, I want a place without previous memories, somewhere where I could create new ones, happy ones, and as for cooking and cleaning… it's time for me to be independent and start to relay in myself, because in the end all I have it's myself.

Now I'm here giving the final touches to the house with the help of Dick. The house that I bought, as I said, it's a two floors one. It's made of grey brick and the roof is black. It has a small front garden with concrete that leads to the garage and stoned floor leading to the front door, which has three stairs and a front porch with white columns and railings, and a black oak door with silver doorknob. Just as you get inside you are met with the black oak stairs with grey railing on your right and on the left with a U shape big kitchen in steal and black granite. Going straight you find a big living room with a television in the left wall with DVD, a PS3 and stacks and stacks of games and movies and next to it a fireplace with some photos and, next to it, the front wall painted with a huge New York skyline in white and black made by myself, and I have to say that it looks amazing (I've always loved art), making a corner with the TV, fireplace and the skyline and in the other corner finishing a square there's a black corner sofa for six people with white and grey cushions. One side of the couch facing the painting and the other side facing the TV which is against a wall that covers the length of that side of the couch leaving between the New York skyline and couch space to pass, and between the couch and the wall of the TV too, and in the middle of all of it there's a coffee table with magazines. At the other side of the wall there's a medium dinning table made of stain and glass with grey chairs and black and white photos and some red, purple, yellow and green paintings made by myself, and that I had hidden in my old bedroom, are spread all around the dinning room. At the other side of the table there's sliding glass doors that lead to a side porch, hidden from the front street by the garage, with a big white round bed with blue cushions overlooking the sea and with two columns in the front corners from where three triangular deep blue curtains cover the bed as if it was a ceiling. And in the far right against the garage wall there's a spiral staircase that leads to the master bedroom. And next to the skyline there's glass walls and a glass door that leads to the back garden where's there's a barbecue, a medium pool and a small porch with some wooden chairs and table.

On the second floor, having going up from the principal stairs, you can find on your left a studio with canvas, paints, a small dark room and a computer; and next to it the gymnasium. On your right there's the master bedroom with a king size bed, with black sheets and white cushions with black stripes, on the wall in front of the door with bedside tables next to it. One of them with a lamp and the other one with two photos: one of my mother and I and the other of Veronica and I. On the bed's right, there's a big window covering the whole wall and on the bed's left there's two doors and the spiral stairs. The closer one to the door is the master bathroom with a shower, a small Jacuzzi for two, the bathroom and two sinks with a mirror in front of them. The other door is a walk in closet. And the walls are covered with three paintings: one in red, orange and yellow; the second with blues, purples and grays and the third one in yellows and greens.

And that's it, that's my house. I know maybe it seems a bit somber in blacks and whites and maybe a bit out of character considering my yellow X-Terra but I really like it this way. Because it's completely how I feel, everything in black and white but some rays of light that are my paintings. And what's more, I love the black and white art and how it makes everything more beautiful masking sometimes the defects and sometimes makingthem more obvious. But back to the present, we have just finished moving my last belongings to the house.

"This is it, we are finished!" – I say to Dick smiling while we are looking around the living room.

"We did it dude! You're nearly independent. When are you going to talk to the lawyer about you emancipation" – He asks me a bit worried and it's ok because I'm a bit too. If I don't get the emancipation I won't be able to rule my life I will still dependent of my father decisions which he has already tried when last week he try to make the judge send me to a military school but I was saved by testimony about how he hit me since I was a little child and at first they didn't believe me but I have the scars so… Anyway in some way that cut some of my tides to him but I'm still a minor so for the big decisions I would need his approval that's what I'm trying to change this days.

"I know Dick but don't worry I talked to my lawyer yesterday and he said that with the proves of mistreatment and his crime I have it almost won" – I say and it's true that she said but anyways I can't help but feel anxious because if it really works my way it would be too good to be true and I can't help but be waiting for a shoe to drop.

"Ok man, but tell me when the court date is so I can go with you" – He says and I once again realize what a good friend he is.

"You got it man and afterwards we will go and get pizza, my treat" – I say trying to show my gratitude in a masculine way.

"When have I ever turned down free pizza" – He answers smiling and I know he understood what I tried to say.

"Logan, I gotta go, see ya tomorrow in class?" – He says going to the door.

"Yeah" – I answer

"Ok, bye dude"

"Bye Dick" – I answer as he leaves my house. I look around and I realize that I finally have the belonging feeling that the chick flicks talk about all the time and as cheesy as it may sound I feel happy about it. I shut the lights off and I head to bed wondering how my first day at school back from summer it's gonna be.

3rd of September

First day of school after a difficult summer and here I am in my yellow X-terra waiting to get inside. It's not that I'm scared or anything I'm just thinking about what this year is gonna bring me and to be completely sincere what I'm gonna do when I see Veronica whom I haven't confront since that night months ago. I still have feelings for her, I'm not gonna lie, but the hurt runs much, much deeper and her mistrust to me has left a mark in my heart and soul. I know it sounds strange all this deep feelings coming from me but as I said all the other me was kind of a façade. I was complety lost in thought when, suddenly, there's a knock in my window and I turn to see Dick waiting for me.

"Hey man you ok?" – He ask his characteristic lopsided grin in place.

"Yea I was just thinking, don't worry everything is fine" – I say trying to ease him. I get out of the car, grab my back and close the car. We start heading for the door when the sound of an engine makes me stop in tracks, I turn my head to the parking lot entrance and there is it the famous black Le Baron, I try to make my body move but it doesn't work.

"Logan! Let's go don't do this to yourself" – He says and I thank God to Dick because he's words make me snap from my trance.

"Sorry, you're right" – I say ashamed to admit that even after two months and everything that has happened she still has power over me.

"Of course I'm right! I'm always right you better not forget it" – He proclaims nearly shouting making all heads turn to look at us and making me laugh. I once again thank God for Dick.


End file.
